Reframing Challenging Times

This is a story about how we can alter our perspective on the challenges we face, and how that shifted perspective can help us move through the emotional energy that can weigh us down. It was written in May of 2019.

A bit of reflection on the events of the past week.

There aren't many other ways to say it: it’s been a shitty week.

First, my daughter was hit by a car last Thursday and is dealing with a fractured pelvis in addition to the tremendous emotional trauma of the incident.

A few days later, I woke up with vitreous detachment in my right eye. How do I know that's what it is? Well, I had it in my left eye last June and was at first told it was retinal detachment. It wasn’t, and this isn’t, but I have all kinds of little ghosties floating around in my field of vision which is pretty annoying.

Then, the beautiful shop that I’ve been doing readings in for the past several months had a major fire.

Not to mention that I had a grand total of three paid readings all week, which barely covers my grocery bill, lost 4 Patreon subscribers and will most likely have to cancel next week’s online class since only one person has registered.

Yep, pretty shitty.

It wouldn’t do me any good to sugarcoat any of that or attempt to obscure the emotional impact with banal platitudes like “everything happens for a reason” or “it will all work out.” All of this has put an enormous strain on me which I need to acknowledge and fully feel so that I can adequately respond to it. It’s in that response that I will connect with my innate wisdom, strength and fortitude to keep moving forward.

Being a positive person doesn’t mean ignoring or glossing over the so-called negatives in our lives. Our emotions are part of who we are, and if we are sacred beings created by the ultimate sacred being, that means that all aspects of us are sacred, even those we consider “negative” because they hurt. Those challenges and our emotional responses to them offer us opportunities for growth, self-awareness, and the most awesome of all our gifts, our free will which is the foundation of self-determination and the ability to choose what to make of the circumstances presented to us.

So now the question is, what is the story that I want to tell which will be most empowering, most expansive and offer the most opportunity for my spirit’s evolution and growth?

My daughter was in a horrifying and traumatic accident which has caused her a lot of pain and suffering. And everything about this can heal. Her fractured pelvis is healing. She is already feeling stronger and more determined to move past this. She is learning a lot about herself and the strength of her body, mind and spirit. She is learning resilience and surrender. She is growing. And I am traveling that path along with her and I am beginning to focus more on gratitude than sorrow.

The eye issue is simply an annoyance, and it will settle and be less obtrusive as time goes on, just as it did in the left eye. I can still see, drive, read, and do everything I need to do, and for that I am grateful.

The loss of the shop is tragic, and as an empath I can feel the sorrow of the owner and her employees. It will be rebuilt, in one form or another, and will literally rise from the ashes in a renewed form. For me, perhaps another opportunity is emerging which will take its place. I can feel the grief of this loss and the faith for the future at the same time and can begin to form a new vision for what’s next for me and for the shop.

My business? Well, that’s been on a steady decline for a while now and it’s been pretty distressing. There have been many times when I’ve been on the verge of giving up but something always keeps me going. That something is passion, and love, and the strong desire to use my gifts and talents to help others. My faith has been supremely shaken, but it always prevails, so I’m continuing to hold the vision of whatever is in the highest good for my work and for the expression of my soul in this lifetime.

I believe it’s vitally important for us to acknowledge with eyes wide open the capital T Truth of what is happening and how we’re responding to it emotionally, mentally and physically. From there, we can start to determine whether those reactions are creating a sense of truth that’s actually false. Much of my emotional response to all these situations is based more on what could have been (in the past), or what might happen (in the future), rather than the reality of what’s right in front of me. Gemma’s accident could have been worse, my eye issue could have been serious and might develop into something worse, the fire could have had tragic consequences, I might be penniless and homeless if things don’t improve. But none of those outcomes is the capital T Truth. They are simply fantasies based on what I THINK might have been or could be, and they only serve to hinder my connection with my inner wisdom, my intuitive sense of what this is all about, and my connection to my inner and outer support system in the present moment.

If I am a sacred being (and I am), then my emotions are also sacred and deserve to honored. My pain, fear, grief, worry, sadness, and stress need my attention without judgment or self-deprecation. I can’t heal what I don’t acknowledge, and I can’t respond to the contrast I’m avoiding. And responding to contrast is what invites us to change, to grow, to flourish and to find new ways to experience this amazing adventure of life.

I won’t pretend to be happy about the challenges of this week, but I will begin to allow myself to see the opportunities in those challenges as I work through the emotions with gentle care and consideration. I will allow the tears, the moments of frustration and the fatigue to inspire self-nurturing and will allow myself to receive the support that is needed from both the seen and unseen realms. And I will slowly and surely begin to set a clearer vision for what’s next.